Hey y’all! Today let’s talk a little about marriage. *insert heart eyes*
A lot of us, including myself, often say we desire to be married. A lot of us (or maybe just me) have our entire dream wedding planned out and spend a ridiculous amount of time daydreaming at our desk about Sunday morning breakfast and walks in the park with our future spouse. We claim we desire that partnership and companionship, that “other half” if will, but what is a marriage if not a partnership? What is a partnership without a common goal? Not a marriage.
- Institution: a society or organization founded for a religious, educational, social, or similar purpose.
We can’t establish a marriage without first establishing our purpose. What has God created you to do? We know that when we come into covenant with someone, that is a covenant between the two and God, but this relationship is simply a direct reflection of the divine one we have with our father, translated to suit also our human needs. But the thing about it is that a relationship should never take away from God, only propel us toward God, so when we are married to someone it is ALWAYS supposed to be to act as a help mate to that person and their calling.
Here’s the gag: you don’t have no business being married if you don’t know your calling.
I know sometimes its so easy to feel like ours is the same as everyone else’s or that we were not created with a specific purpose OR that we must create our own but that is a fallacy. The bible says that before our bodies had form, He knew the purpose of our lives (psalms 139:1-18). That’s deep! God looked into the earth and saw a problem/what was needed, then created you to fix it! Look at Gen. 2:5-9. You’re important!
- The problem was that 5 neither wild plants nor grains were growing on the earth. For the Lord God had not yet sent rain to water the earth, and there were no people to cultivate the soil.
- What did he do to remedy that? He created man.
- The problem was that 20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
- What did he do to remedy that? He created a help mate.
it wasn’t until AFTER Adam had established his purpose that his help mate came. Which makes perfect sense. What is there to be a help mate to if there is no purpose to help? We need to spend a significant amount of time in deep fellowship with God discovering what it is He formed us to do. Then once we discover what that is, we can then begin to pray for our help mate. (But by the time you get so deeply wrapped up in His voice and glory, we won’t even see our helper coming until God bring him/her right to us.)
God did not wait for you to be born and develop talents and gifts and THEN look at you and say “well since he/she’s good at this, i’ll make this his/her calling.” No. He said I am going to create him/her for this specific purpose and he/she will have this gift and as he/she grows in me I will cultivate that gift until it comes into my full idea/fruition, and then I’ll send his/her out and watch all that time and effort that I out into him/her and he/she put into Me, manifest my glory. (Proverbs 18:16)
Heres the second part of that…
So when most people think of marriage they think of two people becoming one, correct? Well here’s the thing: marriage is a holy sacrament (sacred institution) designed to be a trilogy! There’s a husband, wife, and GOD! In 1 John 2 he says that he’s giving us a mediator (or a middle) and that exactly that he is supposed to be in a marriage; If you take one portion of the triangle out, the whole structure will collapse. God actually defines marriage for us in Genesis 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
So here we see that God created one man and one woman, two sexes, and made them for each other, and when they are joined they become one. This is what marriage is. Our society has done a wonderful job at redefining marriage and sex but the key to deception is distorting definition. He said that we become one flesh and that is important because when you come together in flesh with someone, you now share in the good and bad of them (spiritually and physically) but that’s a topic for another day.
In Matthew 19 we see that Jesus was questioned by the Pharisees about marriage (The pharisees were like those annoying little know-it-all cousins that you hate being around but somehow they’re still always there). They were asking Him about divorce and even still, here Jesus before answering their question, He again gives them the two defining factors of a marriage (Matthew 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,) and then He gave them an answer that we must remember especially in these trivial times today. Jesus took them back to the beginning when God first instituted marriage with Adam and Eve and then He essentially tells them that we are not to allow any man to redefine what God established.
Hosea is a great example of what the covenant in marriage is, regardless of the circumstances. In Hosea, God had commanded him to take up a whore as his wife and to be with her no matter what. The book goes on to tell all of the crazy things that she did, things that most people would immediately divorce for. I definitely recommend you taking a look at Hosea. Its pretty crazy.
Catch this: God is your divine husband, for better or for worse, through sickness and in health. He made vows to you and they are all found in His word. You take vows with God when you give your life to Him. Once we are wed, we become a reflection of our husband. Would your husband let you go out of the house without money? Would he let you struggle to pay a bill? Would he let you starve? Your divine husband doesn’t wish any of these things for you either. Way to set the bar, Jesus! For our natural husbands, God sets a standard of love in Ephesians 5: 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Our husbands are to love us like Christ loves the church. That’s deep, seeing as how Jesus gave his life for the church. We are to love and remain faithful to our husbands! Adultery in the natural is sleeping with another, but adultery with God is worshiping other idols.
God goes on to tell us that it is imperative that we regard our marriages highly! There is a lot of standards set by our Daddy, for Him, to be acted out by us. In 1 Peter 3 He tells us essentially that if we are married and our marriages are not in order our prayers will not be answered. (1Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. 7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.)
So let’s take the time out to pray and ask God to reveal to us what it is we need to be doing for Him, then ask Him for the help that we will need.
But that’s just what Jay would say..