Open letter to my love

I think you were created in Gods divine hands from the most precious glass
And in astounding strength and humility and grace he told you that your were going into this world to save a lost soul. 
(That lost soul was me)
When I close my eyes and pray, with you right next to me, I see it in my consciousness like a cinema. 
I see this image with you in Gods hand as he tells that you will love me when I don’t know how to love myself
Which will be often

And when I forget that he loves me too

He tells you that you will show me how to smile again 

Like children do

The type of smile that runs deep within my soul

Touches my heart

Passes my mind 

And manifests on my lips and in my eyes
And he told you that you will be my guardian angel
Because once I meet you I will believe with all of my heart that you are indeed an angel
So he told you that you will be my warrior

My knight in shining armor

“So when she is met with dragons and demons which she believes she’s not big enough to face” he said 
“You will hold her hand and help her fight. And after the fight is won, you will take her in your arms and promise her that you will do it 100x over again.”
God listened in on my conversations with the women who would be more fit to call my sisters
When I told them that my desire for a man who I would call “mine” was that he would be well versed in the things that I was not. 
His stature and voice would hold a profound power
And his mind was for more than picturing a woman’s body in places that only her husband should see 
His mind was for the many books he’d read and the ones he bought but never did
For the opinions he so strongly and respectfully stuck to
And the infinite amount of questions he had about everything in varied subjects. 
But the most important thing God heard me tell these sisters was that I wanted “mine”  to be a man of him 

A man of God. 

So, for an undeserving and selfish

Scarred and scared

Insecure but confident

Quiet but outspoken 
Contradictory young woman, he took the most perfect shades of hazel and the purest gold and made your eyes 
“Use them to look at her and adorn her when she will not do it herself”
And from the earth, he used the tallest trees from uninhabited forests and made your limbs
“Your embrace will be the only place she will feel indestructible; She is a woman who always feels defeated”
And he took the strength of the seas and put it in your arms
“When she yells with anger on the tip of her tongue and raises her hand to strike you, you will take her in your arms and kiss her until she is reminded…”
And he created your ever so delicate skin and it’s perfect caramel tone from his own divine paints. 
“Your skin will be the only mans skin she will touch ever again, so it is smooth but firm when it washes over her. She will love to touch this skin.”
Then he gave you to me. 
So I’m sending this prayer through Gabrielle and Michael hoping it reaches God before you wake. 

I wake up in your arms every morning and fall asleep there every night; every morning and every night is the happiest of my life. 
And if God knows truly the man that he created
Then he knows why I vowed the rest of my life to you 
My happiness is your smile and my light is your laughter. 
You made it clear to me why people spend their lives searching for something or someone that they’ll never find
It’s because the things they’re looking for are not found
They are sent by God himself and there is no replicating a creation like you. 
You are my constant reminder of his unconditional and incomparable love for me and there are not, nor will there ever be, enough thank you’s and I do’s the repay you for the gifts you give to me for every second you exist in my world. 
“Mine” was created for me by God
And I’m so blessed that you call me yours too. 
This love of ours, my mans love, is not ordinary; this is heavenly love. 
It’s extraordinary. 

Amen. I do.   

 

 

Jay.

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